


Murmurs of the heart

by YouSetTheTone



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, some really short-lived fake dating, with a side of everyone sort of thinking they're together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 04:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15942176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouSetTheTone/pseuds/YouSetTheTone
Summary: “Kara, darling, there you are,” someone said from behind her, making Kara stop midsentence.She would recognize that voice anywhere.





	Murmurs of the heart

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually something I started wiritng for the Secret Santa last year. In the end I went in another direction but decided to continue writing this. I originally thought this would be a short thing and then it ended up being the double of what I had planned in my mind. 
> 
> As usual all mistakes are mine, feel free to point them out. Kudos and comments are always appreciated :)
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @youwritethetone

Kara loved Catco’s annual holiday party.

The first time she’d attended, she’d only been working at Catco for a few months. It had been hell to organize it and Kara had held her breath when she’d followed Cat into the room, aware that Cat had given her the task as some sort of test. Cat had looked around and hummed in approval before telling Kara she could go enjoy her evening.

Relieved, Kara had spent most of the evening by Winn’s side. It wasn’t that she didn’t get along with the other Catco employees. She did. But Winn was the only one who had really tried to be her friend. She’d learned from him that the reason for that was that Cat’s assistants didn’t usually last this long, so they didn’t bother befriending someone who would be gone within a month or two. Kara hadn’t minded so much. She’d known she was good at her job and had been determined to remain Cat’s assistant.  And it had certainly not prevented her from enjoying the evening.

By the time her second Catco’s holiday party had rolled around, a lot had changed.  She had proved that she wasn’t just one among the many assistants Cat had hired over the years. She was respected by Catco employees and they trusted her to review their work and tell them if Cat would be satisfied with it. Not to mention, she’d embraced her powers and become Supergirl. It had been a challenge to organize the party while dealing with the added superhero responsibilities. James and Winn had helped her pull it off, like they did every day. And nothing could have ruined her evening, not even watching James laugh as he’d danced with Lucy.

The cheerful spirit, the food, laughing with her friends. Kara usually loved the holiday party. Yet this year, she found herself standing alone on one side of the room.  Winn, while invited, was working at the DEO tonight. James, being the new boss, couldn’t spend the whole evening with Kara.

And Cat – she had simply left and the few texts they’d exchanged right after her departure had slowly trickled down to nothing. Kara hadn’t been brave enough to star a conversation again, her thumb always hovering over Cat’s contact but never actually tapping on the screen.

For two years, she’d spent her days by Cat’s side and, while delighted about being promoted, she’d known adjusting to her new job, one which wouldn’t imply seeing Cat every day, was going to be tough. But nothing could have prepared her for no Cat at all.

It wasn’t just the advice and the constant support that she missed. Sure, those had been great, but she missed the little things too, the small ways they’d taken care of each other silently. Things like Kara making sure Cat didn’t stay too late on nights Carter was with his father or Cat sharing her M&M’s whenever she somehow knew Kara was having a bad day. Some might say it had been Kara’s job but towards the end it always felt more like she was doing for Cat what she would do for a friend.

Kara was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn’t see him walking towards her until it was too late.

“Hey Kara,” he said.

“Mon-El, hi.” She faked a smile. “What are you doing here?”

She’d been avoiding him as much as possible and him showing up tonight of all night was not part of her plan. Since he had kissed her, being around him was more awkward than ever. She didn’t want him to kiss her again or worse, to confess he had feelings for her. It would make her life more complicated and she didn’t think she could handle that on top of everything.

She didn’t like him romantically. Most of the time, she wasn’t even sure she liked him at all because he annoyed her so much. She only felt responsible for him, for the loss of his planet, of his people. It was her parent’s decisions that had led to the destruction of both Krypton and Daxam, and as their daughter she felt it was her duty to right the wrong they’d done.

“Eve invited me.”

“She did? How nice. Shouldn’t you be with her?”

He shrugged. “I’m not really interested.”

Kara would have a talk with him about not accepting to go to a party with a girl as her date if he wasn’t interested. And she also made a note to buy something nice for Eve on Monday – she deserved better than this.

“Listen, Kara, I was thinking,” he started saying and Kara knew what she’d been trying to avoid was going to happen. She looked around for anything, anyone, that would allow her to escape this conversation.  “I think we should date.  Because I lied. I like like you as in I want to mate with you. And I think you like me too.”

This was definitely not the Holiday party Kara had been looking forward to. Hoping he would leave her alone when she told him no, she tried to be as nice about it as she could. “Mon-El, I’m sorry, but I don’t have that kind of feelings for you,” she said. His baffled look at her answer told her the thought of her rejecting him had never once crossed his mind.

“No, look, I still have a lot to learn, I know that, but if you give me a chance, I can be better. You can help me be better.”

She tried to keep the scowl off her face. – it wasn’t her job to make him better. Helping him settle on Earth and teaching him Earth customs? Maybe. She’d already tried to teach him what being a superhero meant and he’d thrown it back in her face.

 “Look, Mon-El, I don’t th –“

“Kara, darling, there you are,” someone said from behind her, making Kara stop midsentence.

She would recognize that voice anywhere. Only, she hadn’t expected to hear it again tonight. Besides, there was really one person who’d ever called her darling. Kara turned around and smiled. Cat stood there, a hand on her hip, looking as stunning as ever. Cat got closer to Kara and pushed back a loose strand of her hair. She then mouthed something that looked like ‘Just go with it’, before stepping aside and asking with disdain evident in her voice “And who are you?”

Kara was vaguely comforted by the fact that Mon-El looked as puzzled as she felt, her brain frozen by Cat’s sudden appearance and the arm she’d slid around Kara’s waist. registered that Cat had slid an arm around her waist. When Cat slightly tightened her grip, Kara snapped out of her daze and caught on to what she was doing. And it seemed Mon-El had was buying as he looked between the two of them before focusing on the hand at Kara’s waist.

“I’m – uh – I’m Mike.”

Cat stared him down. “Well, Mitch, I suggest you find somewhere else to be.” He opened his mouth to protest but Cat stopped him. “Now.”

With one last longing look at Kara, Mon-El walked away, mumbling that Kara should have told him she was already seeing someone instead of letting him make a fool of himself.

Once he was gone, Cat removed her hand and Kara wanted nothing more than to grab it and pull the other woman into a hug. “Really, Keira, I leave for a few months and this is the company I find you in.”

“Trust me, it’s not by choice,” she answered. “Ms. Grant, you didn’t say you were coming back.”

She couldn’t quite wrap her mind around that fact yet. One second, she was thinking how much she was missing, the next she was showing up without warning and saving her from a very awkward situation.

“You know me, I like having the element of surprise.”

“Right,” Kara chuckled. For a moment, they didn’t say anything.  Everything Kara wanted to say felt too big, too revealing. In the end, she settled for the simple truth. “I’ve missed you.”

“Kara…”

“I’m doing okay at work, I think. Snapper doesn’t hate me as much as he did. And I’m learning so it’s good. Everything else is…” Kara trailed off, hoping Cat would get the idea. “Anyway, I’ve just missed you.” Kara let out a shaky breath and willed herself not too add more.  There was a time when she would have tried to apologize for getting this emotional. She wouldn’t do that now. Too much had happened – Adam, the black mercy, the red kryptonite, Myriad, those hugs that had Cat melting into her arms. They’d left strictly professional behind a long time ago and so, tonight, she held Cat’s gaze as she waited for an answer.

“I’ve missed you too,” Cat admitted quietly, surprising Kara at the same time.

“So, are you back ?” Kara asked. Cat looked away and she had her answer.

“Carter and I are spending the holidays here. I don’t know how long we will be staying.”

“So, you’re not coming back to Catco?”

“No, Kara, not yet.”

“Okay,” she said, trying to mask her disappointment. “That’s good, I guess.”

She thought Cat looked pained for a second but the look was so fleeting that Kara wasn’t sure she hadn’t imagined it.

“Would you like to come over during the holidays ?” Cat asked out the blue, seemingly without meaning to judging by the look on her face. She cleared her throat. “I’m sure Carter would love to see you.”

“Oh no I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“Nonsense, I invited you. And I know Carter won’t mind, far from it, especially if you play Settlers of Catan with us. I know he’s been wanting to see if you can beat me.”

It wasn’t that Kara wanted to say no. ON the contrary, if Cat was going to leave again, Kara wanted to take every opportunity she was given to catch up with her. But Kara had imagined having lunch in her office, or going to Noonan’s for a drink, and certainly not something as personal as being invited to Cat’s home. Kara already knew it would be hard to see Cat leave again, and it would be even worse if they got closer.

“Ms. Grant are you sure?” she asked, semi-hoping Cat would reconsider, because Kare knew she wouldn’t actually be able to say no.

“Yes.”

Damn.

“Then, I’d love to,” Kara said. When she noticed a board member making their way over to them, she added, “We’ll have to discuss when later though, because the sharks are coming your way.”

Cat turned her head in the direction Kara was looking, just enough to know what Kara was talking about but not enough that it would be too obvious.

“Indeed,” she answered.

“I’m glad you’re here tonight, Ms. Grant.”

“Me too.”

 

* * *

_“James, who is that woman with Kara?”_

_“That’s Cat Grant.  Why?”_

_“Because I think they’re dating.”_

_“What?”_

* * *

A few days later, Kara knocked on the door of James’ office, two brown bags in hand.

“Hey Kara. Lunchtime?” he asked.

She nodded. “Want to join me? I bought extra.”

“Sure,” James said. He pointed to the sliding doors. “Balcony?”

“Actually, I was going to eat on the one with the view on the park. More sunlight.”

It was a lie but having lunch on Cat’s balcony without her there felt wrong. She couldn’t avoid going into her office but she could draw the limit at her balcony. Thankfully James followed her without arguing.

They sat down at one of the small table and started eating.  James chuckled at Kara’s enthusiasm over her food and she shot him a playful glare. It was good to be able to relax each other’s company. Things had been a bit weird after their breakup. He’d been busy with running Catco and she’d spend too much time trying to help Mon-El adjust, leaving their friendship to be neglected.

“Kara?”

“Yeah?” she answered before stuffing her mouth with another pot sticker.

“I know we haven’t spent as much time together as we used to lately but you know we’ll always be friends, right?”

His question made Kara pause. She’d never doubted that and she told him so.

“Of course, James, I know that.”

“And as your friend, you know you could tell me if you were dating someone.”

Kara frowned. Something was definitely off because she was not dating anyone and she had no idea how James got that idea.

“James, what brought this on?”

“Mon-El said something to me last week at the party about you and Cat.” Realization dawned on Kara. Kara had been so focused on the fact that Cat had invited her over that she’d forgotten all about Cat’s little act – and how Mon-El couldn’t keep his mouth shut. James took her silence for confirmation. “I’ll admit I didn’t see it coming. I knew you were somewhat close but I – ”

“Wait, James, no. I’m not with Cat. She was helping me,” she interrupted and proceeded to tell him the whole story.

 “So, she made it seem like you were together to make Mon-El leave?”

“I know, I know, it sounds weird. It worked though so to be honest I’m glad she did that. But there’s nothing going on.”

James thought it over for a second before saying, “You know what kind of people usually does this? Jealous people, Kara.”

“Or friends,” she argued. “Which we are. I think. She invited me over for dinner. That’s friendly.”

 “You’re going to have dinner at Cat’s home ?”

“Yeah but it’s not like a date or anything. Carter will be there and anyway she’s probably leaving again soon.”

She omitted to tell him that she was feeling very confused by the fact that she wished it was a date and that Cat was staying.

“Alright” he said and Kara tried to ignore the fact that he still looked utterly unconvinced.

* * *

Kara stared at the door in front of her. She knew she should probably ring the doorbell or knock – really do anything - sometime soon. The doorman had let Cat know that Kara was coming up. Cat was expecting her and if Kara didn’t do anything soon Cat would surely open the door to come find Kara herself. Cat finding her there doing nothing would certainly be more embarrassing than just get over her nervousness and making herself known to the people behind the door.

She had been to Cat’s home before. As Cat’s assistant, she’d been asked a few times to bring Cat some documents she had forgotten at work. But that was professional. The one time she’d spent the night here was when she had watched Carter. But Cat had been in Metropolis.

The point was, Kara had never been there for non-professional reasons when Cat was home. And even when Kara had been there for the Carter-sititng disaster, it had been before they’d had so much history behind them.

She finally raised her hand to knock but the door opened a second before her knuckles even grazed it. However, instead of Cat, she found herself face to face with Carter.

“Kara,” he said joyfully, before hugging her. He frowned and pulled away. “Wait, is it okay if I hug you ?”

Kara smiled at how thoughtful he was. “Of course, buddy,” she reassured before pulling him back briefly into her arms. “You’re taller than the last time I saw you.”

She ruffled his hair.

“You already said that last time too, Kara.”

“Well, it’s true,” she said before adding more quietly, “You’re taller than your mom now, right ?”

Carter nodded and they both laughed. She was surprised to see how easy it was to joke with Carter despite not having seen him since last year.

“I heard that.”

Kara looked up and smiled sheepishly at Cat who had appeared in the hallway.

“Hi.”

“Hello, Kara.”

A moment Kara wouldn’t be able to describe passed between them and if it weren’t for Carter clearing his throat Kara didn’t know how much longer they could have stayed like this, simply staring at one another, waiting for the other to do something.

“Mom, your manners.”

Kara told herself, it was probably just the consequence of not seeing each other in awhile. They just had to find their footing again.

“Right, of course. Welcome.”

“Mom, she’s been here before.”

Kara decided to come to Cat’s rescue. “Well, not in a while.”

Cat motioned for them to move to the living area. Cat’s home was still lovely. She was sure most people imagined Cat’s home to be very modern, all steel and grey, without that homey feeling (how did she know? That’s how she’d imagined it too – not that she thought about it much of course). Was it modern? Yes. Was it cold and unpersonal? No. It was all hardwood floors and warm colors. Well, almost all of them, Kara noted. There were now pictures of Adam – some recent, some older – that hadn’t been there the first time she’d been here. The furniture had to be expensive and there were a few pieces of art that were sure to have cost more than Kara had ever earned, but it wasn’t a museum either. Kara knew how it felt to fear even moving an inch because you were afraid you’d damage something. Cat’s home had never given her that feeling.

“Carter why don’t you chat with Kara while I finish in the kitchen.” She looked at Kara and as if to ask if it was okay and Kara nodded. “It’ll just be a minute.”

Kara followed Carter to the couch. He went on to tell her all about the latest things he’d learned about aliens and the new superheroes in town, Kara participating with a few facts or theories of her own.

“And there’s the Guardian now too. Isn’t it cool?”

“I don’t know, Carter. Don’t you think it’s dangerous? He doesn’t have superpowers.”

“I guess. But ordinary people can be heroes too.”

“Of course, th-, I mean, we can. But there are a lot of different ways to be heroes that to be a vigilante.”

“Like Mom for example.”

“Exactly like your Mom. What she does, making sure people know the truth, being a reliable face when there’s a crisis. It’s just as important as stopping the bad guys.”

“Well, I’m glad we can all agree on my importance,’ Cat said, making Kara jump slightly. She hadn’t meant for Cat to hear that but it seemed Cat enjoyed sneaking up on Kara. “Now enough about superheroes, dinner’s ready.”

 “Please, Mom, all you do is talk about Supergirl,” Carter said, making Kara chuckle and earning himself a glare from his mother. “Come on, Kara, Mom made like 4 pizzas for dinner.”

He got up and all but dashed to the dining room.

“That’s a lot of pizza.” Cat’s only response was to raise an eyebrow, almost daring Kara to say something. There was no way of really knowing if Cat had cooked this much because she knew Kara was Supergirl without her actually betraying her own secret – which she was getting increasingly sure wasn’t a secret anymore. It could just be that she had a teenage son, so Kara decided to leave it at that. If Cat knew there wasn’t much she could do about it. Besides, it didn’t seem as much of a problem as it once had been. “So, you made them yourself ?”

“Yes, it might come as a surprise to you but I can cook. We can’t all be millennials who rely on take-out to feed themselves,” she said.

Kara rolled her eyes at Cat’s harmless insult and followed her into the dining room. Dinner was spent mostly talking with Carter, Cat seemingly content to just sit back and listen to them, only interjecting a few times. Afterwards they played a couple of games of Settlers of Catan – Carter won both times. When around midnight Cat sent him to bed, he grumbled a little bit.

“Mom, it’s the holidays I don’t have school.”

“Yes, and your father is picking you up tomorrow at 10. If you don’t go to sleep now, you’ll be tired in the morning.”

“I’m 14, don’t you think I’m old enough to know how to handle my sleeping schedule?”

He crossed his arms and Kara thought he looked very much like Cat when someone told her something incredibly stupid.

“What about we’ll discuss this at a later date and for now you go to bed.”

“Fine,” he said, realizing he probably wouldn’t this one. At least not tonight. He turned to Kara. “Goodnight Kara. I had fun tonight.”

She opened her arms and he hugged her briefly. “Me too, Carter. Goodnight.”

With one last hug to Cat, he went upstairs.

“Sorry about that. Arguing is with me is something new.” Cat redirected them to the couch. “Sometimes I forget that he’s a teenager.”

“If all he argues about is him going to bed, I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Kara said, before adding with a laugh “You should have seen Alex and me.”

Cat’s eyes glinted with curiosity. “Why? Was Kara Danvers a rebellious teenager?”

Kara shook her head. “Not particularly but Alex and I didn’t quite get along at first. There were a lot of heated arguments and slammed doors. We didn’t make it easy on Eliza.”

They’d touched upon Kara’s teenage years before of course and while it seemed like a lifetime ago Kara knew Cat remembered. She’d probably already done the math in her head. When Kara had been Carter’s age, she had very recently lost her parents. And more – she suspected Cat might know that too. Her early days with the Danvers wasn’t something she talked about freely and it should have felt strange to discuss it, especially with someone she was still hiding so much from - but Kara felt none of the usual weight she did when she talked about those times.

“Huum I’ll let it slide for now but you will definitely have to tell me more about this.”

“Only if you tell me about your teenage years,” Kara teased.

 “We’ll see about that.

Silence fell upon them, leaving Kara some time to realized once again where exactly she was and who she was with. And Carter wasn’t there to distract them anymore. Kara had read a lot since her arrival on Earth but right now, she really regretted that there had never been a manual on how to act around your former boss / sort of friend / woman you might have a crush on.

“Thank you for inviting me tonight,” she said, figuring that was a good start;

“I wasn’t lying when I said I’d missed you too, Kara.”

 _Then, why don’t you come back?,_ Kara wanted to ask but refrained. She didn’t want to start a confrontation.

“Sometimes I go to your office and it’s not until I see James behind your desk that I remember you left,” Kara confessed without thinking. She hadn’t told anyone and she’d never planned on telling Cat either. “Your office always felt like a safe place to go.”

“And now?”

“It’s not the same.”

“What about James?”

“I don’t believe that you don’t know that we broke up.”

Cat looked guilty for a second. “Well, it would be wrong to mention it before you felt like telling me first. I’ve learned my lesson.” She gave Kara a pointed look before continuing, “Besides you breaking up doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t confide in him.”

“I couldn’t talk to him the way I talked in you. You never expected me to be perfect.”

 “Well, that’s because nobody is.”

“So, it really has been lonely since you left.”

“I got that from the company I found you in the other night.” It wasn’t even joke. Cat knew Kara wouldn’t have tolerated Mon-El’s behavior a year ago. But she wanted to give Alex space to be with Maggie, James and her had broken up, and Winn had another job. “Forgive me for saying this but I hope you’re not considering dating him. If you want to mother someone so badly, get a puppy. At least, those are much cuter.”

 Kara laughed. “I’m not.”

“That’s a relief.”

She didn’t know what made her said it but she did it anyway. “Besides, I’m interested in someone else.”

Cat stilled. “Oh?”

“I’m sorry, you probably don’t care about that.” Kara laughed nervously, realizing how dangerous this line of talking could get.

“No, Kara, I don’t mind. I was only…I didn’t realize there was someone else in the picture.”

“There isn’t. Well, not really. It’s complicated, I guess. She –“ Kara stopped herself abruptly. Another thing she hadn’t meant to say. Cat, however, didn’t seem surprised, or if she was she didn’t show it. “I haven’t actually told her.”

“Why not?”

“Like I said, it’s complicated.”

“Kara, can I give you some advice?”

“You usually don’t ask, Ms. Grant,” she pointed out and Cat conceded with a slight movement of her head.

“You need to say something, even if it scares you.”

“I feel like I’ve heard that somewhere,” Kara answered, with a slight upturn of her lips.

“Yes, well, you may have questionable clothing choices, but you were right.”

“So your advice is to just go for it?”

“Yes.”

 

* * *

_“Mon-El, you look wasted, my friend.”_

_“I asked Kara out but she’s already dating someone.”_

_“She is ?”_

_“Yeah. A woman. Cat…something, I can’t remember.”_

_“Kara’s dating a woman ? Wait, you don’t mean Ms. Grant, do you ?”_

_“Cat Grant! Yes, Winn, that’s her!”_

_“Oh my…”_

* * *

Kara walked into the bullpen and sat on one of the empty chairs before rolling it towards Winn’s desk. She opened the drawer she knew he kept snack in and stole a few candy bars from him. She was in a good mood. They’d just stopped the bad guy of the week and since dinner at Cat’s house two weeks ago, they’d regularly seen each other. She was still on the fence about confessing her feelings to Cat but in the meantime she was happy just spending time with her.

She was halfway through her snacks when she noticed Winn was staring.

“What?” she asked through a mouthful.

Winn straightened up in his chair. “Nothing, nothing.”

Kara thought he was acting strange but shrugged it off and went back to eating. Until she felt him staring again.

“Is this about the candy bars? Because you know, I always replace them.”

“Yeah, no, I know. Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” she said. Kara figured that if something other than the candy bars she borrowed from him was bothering him, she would know about it eventually. Once she finished her snacks she got up and threw the wrappers in the trash. When she turned back around, Winn was looking at her again.

“Winn!”

He jumped in his chair. “Sorry.”

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on. Nothing that’s my business. I don’t know anything.”

“Okay even I can lie better than that.”

He sighed. “Okay, fine, but please don’t hurt me. You might not be as scary as Alex but you’re still scary enough.”

She made a face him at him but agreed anyway. “I won’t, now spill.”

“Are you dating Ms. Grant?” he asked tentatively after making sure no one was listening.

“Let me guess, you talked to Mon-El.”

“I saw him at the bar last night,” Winn confirmed. “So it’s true then? Because I’ve been going over this all day, and it’s totally cool. Not that you need my approval or anything of course. I just want to say maybe the superhero doesn’t get the guy but gets the girl and you know the two of you make sense in a way.”

“Winn! Breathe,” Kara said. “We’re not dating.”

Unfortunately.

“Oh? Hum, alright then, sorry. I’m just going to go over there, hide.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Winn, and let me explain. Mon-El only thinks we are dating. He wouldn’t leave me alone at the Catco party. Then Cat showed up, called me darling, and ran him off with her death stare. You know the one.”

“Yeah, she used to give it to me when she still called me Witt.” He pretended to shudder at the thought. “Well, anyway, sorry.”

“It’s alright. I’m going to tell Mon-El to stop telling everyone about my personal life.” Kara was halfway across the room when she rushed back to Winn’s desk. “One more question, what did you mean when you said it makes sense?”

“Nothing?” he replied in a high-pitched voice and Kara fixed him with a stare. “Okay, okay, wow did you learn it from Ms. Grant. Stare harder and you’re going to burn actual holes in my face.”

“You still haven’t answered.”

“I don’t know I mean you’re Supergirl, and a kick ass reporter, and she’s Ms. Grant. You two would be like National City’s power couple. Prime shipping material. Not that I particularly know anything about shipping. Besides, you grew close over the last year. You know, she has glass walls. Everyone saw you hug. I had some people ask me about it and I don’t even work here anymore.”

“So what you want to say is that everyone thinks we’re dating?”

“No!” he exclaimed. “Maybe? There’s been rumors.”

“Great, no wonder Snapper and all the other reporters hate me if they think I slept with the boss to get a promotion.”

“Hey, now, you deserved that promotion. Everyone with a brain knows that.”

“Thanks, Winn.”

“And look at the bright side, if they all think you’re already sleeping with Ms. Grant, nothing’s stopping you from actually doing it.” He laughed but trailed off when he noticed Kara’s not-so-amused face.

“You didn’t just say that.”

“I did not just say that,” Winn repeated. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to go hide somewhere.”

He quickly left, leaving Kara alone.

Well, he did have a point.

* * *

It was later than Kara had planned on leaving work but her article was due in a tomorrow and she didn’t want to give Snapper any reason to hate her again. She had checked every number, had reread it over and over again, and it was time to call it night. One of the reasons it took her so long to finish it – between Christmas and celebrating the new year - was that she’d kept thinking about the talks she’d had with James and Winn.

That maybe her and Cat wasn’t such a crazy idea. But it was such a big leap of faith and no matter Cat’s reaction, it would change everything. But they’d shared moment since Cat had come back where it seemed like Kara’s feelings weren’t one-sided -although that could just be wishful thinking. Kara had never been too good at reading humans. All Kara knew is that she missed Cat and she didn’t want to see her go away again. Not that Kara would ask her to stay if Cat still wanted to leave.

 

She didn’t expect the knock on her door and almost dropped the laptop she was going to put in her bag. Only a handful of people knew about her office and only one would choose to visit when most of the building was empty. Besides Cat knew where to find Kara – she had told her she was staying late.

“Hi,” she said as the door opened. Kara resumed gathering her things while Cat looked around.

“Your office looks nice,” Cat said.

“You think?” Kara asked before teasing, “Personally, I think it could do with a window. Not enough sun.”

 “I think we both know you get enough sun because you don’t spend that much time in here”, Cat said. They’d been doing that more and more – saying that heavily implied Kara was Supergirl. It was like a game between them, waiting to see who would cave first and confirm what they both knew. “And by that, I mean that as a reporter you’re often out there chasing a story of course.”

“Right, right, of course,” Kara agreed playfully. “What brings you here?”

Cat’s next words felt like a bucket of ice cold water had been dropped on her – well, what she imagined a bucket of freezing water felt like. “I wanted to talk to you.”

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what Cat was going to say.

“You’re leaving.”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

Kara fought the emotions that threatened to bubble over. She couldn’t believe Cat was leaving tomorrow and was only telling her now.

“How long have you known?” she asked and when Cat’s silence was the only answer Kara needed. “You didn’t say anything.”

“Well, I didn’t want the knowledge of my departure to change anything. It’s easier like this.”

“Easier for who, Cat?”

“You knew I wasn’t staying,” Cat defended.

“But you never gave an exact date. A heads up would have been nice.”

“It doesn’t matter now.”

Kara shook her head, angry. “You know the first time, I got it. One night, out of the blue you announced you were leaving, and the next day you were gone. It was a hard decision, you probably didn’t want to give the chance to anyone to talk you out of it. And we weren’t…After the Christmas party you didn’t have to invite me over, you didn’t have to call, we didn’t have to spend time together. We’re friends and I wish you’d told me earlier.”

“Well, I can’t stay.”

“I’m not asking you to stay, Cat.”

“I see,” Cat said tightlipped and Kara almost laughed. Leave it to Cat to be mad when all Kara was doing was respecting her choice even though she wanted nothing more than to convince her not to go.

“That’s not the same as wanting you to leave, you know.” Kara added before walking around her desk to get closer to where Cat was standing but without invading her space. “Do you want me to ask you to stay?”

“I have to leave.”

“Why?”

“There’s nothing for me in National City anymore. Not that I can have anyway.” she said. “I shouldn’t have come to the party in the first place.”

“Cat…”

Cat stepped back. “Goodbye, Kara.”

She rushed through the door leaving Kara standing in the middle of her office, wondering what the hell had just happened.

 

* * *

_“Mon-El, have you seen Kara? We were supposed to be training”_

_“I bet she’s spending time with Cat.”_

_“Cat as in Cat Grant ?”_

_“Am I the only one who didn’t know who Cat Grant was.”_

_“Cat left before you woke up. Why would Kara be with Cat on a Saturday morning, anyway?”_

_“Because they’re together, Alex.”_

_“They’re what now?”_

* * *

Kara was on her couch, still in her pajamas, sadly eating her breakfast – coffee and two boxes of donuts. A bang on the door startled her and she accidentally knocked over her mug, spilling coffee everywhere.

Cursing under her breath, she quickly grabbed paper towels from the kitchen and started to clean her floor. Whoever was outside of her apartment, banged on the door again. “Just a minute!”

“Kara Danvers, open that door right now,” Alex yelled.

Kara stopped what she was doing. Wasn’t Alex supposed to be at the D.E.O this morning ?

_Shit._

She forgot about training.

Using a burst of super-speed Kara finished cleaning up and went to open the door.

“You know you have a key,” she said, leaning against the door.

“I do,” Alex answered as she pushed past Kara. “But calmly coming in doesn’t have the same effect as pounding on the door.”

“Right.”

She closed the door and sat on one of her stools, waiting for Alex to give her an earful about not showing up to their training session. Alex, however, just stood there, curiously looking around. Kara saw her frown when she spotted the donuts on the coffee table

“Two boxes of donuts for breakfast. What’s wrong ?”

Kara didn’t particularly want to explain to her sister that she’d been crushing on her former boss for a while and she was devastated that she was leaving without so much as a warning, perhaps right at this moment, and that after last night they probably weren’t going to see each other again.

“Nothing’s wrong, Alex.”

“Then do you have someone over ?” she asked, this time trying to peek through the half-closed curtain that lead to Kara’s bedroom.

“What? Why would you even think that, Alex ?”

“Well, the double dose of donuts,” Alex answered. “And something Mon-El told me.”

Kara rolled her eyes. Great. This was just great. Exactly the topic she’d wanted to avoid talking about.

Mon-El might not be human but she was still stronger than him and she was definitely going to find him and throw him into space.

“No, Alex, I am not dating Cat. And you should know better than to believe anything Mon-El says,” she said with a sigh.

She went back to her spot on the couch, plucked a donut out of the box and ate it in two bites. Alex observed before taking the space next to her.

“But something is wrong and it is about Cat,” Alex stated softly. “I know you’ve been spending time with her since she came back.”

“She told me yesterday she was leaving this morning,” Kara said.

“And you don’t want her to leave.”

“No, of course not. But the point is she only told me last night and…I thought I had more time.”

“More time for what?” Alex asked, causing Kara to nervously wring her hands together.” What’s this really about, Kara?”

“You know how Mon-El told you I was dating Cat?” Alex nodded so Kara continued, “That’s because we pretended we were. It was only for a minute so that he would leave me alone.”

Kara saw understanding dawning on Alex’s face but her sister didn’t say anything, letting Kara the liberty of adding to the story in her own time. It wasn’t so long ago that their positions were reversed and though Kara was certain Alex knew where this conversation was headed, she knew from experience to give her space.

“I thought I missed her because she always guided me when I needed it but I realized it wasn’t just that,” she said, looking shyly at Alex.

“I know.”

“You know? How?”

“Figuring things about myself also made me see things about you,” she explained. “And with the way you constantly gushed about Cat, it couldn’t be just professional admiration.”

“I never gushed about her.”

“Oh please, Kara. If I had a dollar for every time you said she was amazing I’d be very rich. You care about her so much you took the risk of writing to her estranged son without her knowledge because you knew it was hurting her,” Alex said and Kara winced at the memory. She was still a tiny bit surprised she’d still been employed after that. “Really, I’m mad at myself for not seeing it sooner. Besides, since she came back it’s the happiest I’ve seen you be in months.”

“Fine, you’ve made your point,” she conceded. “That doesn’t help me though.”

“Well, have you told her how you felt ?”

“No. I can’t tell her now. I don’t want her to think I’m trying to manipulate her into staying.” Kara sighed. “I was planning to. Maybe. As crazy as it sounds, there were moments where it seemed like it wasn’t one-sided. Like when I was at her place after she invited me. Or even yesterday, it felt like she was disappointed I wasn’t asking her to stay. I suppose I was wrong.”

“Did she ?” At Kara’s confused look, she clarified “Want you to ask her to stay, I mean ?”

“No, she said that there was nothing here for her that she could have. And then she just left.” For some reason, this earned her a “are you kidding me” look from Alex – a look she was quite familiar with. “What ?”

“Did you stop to think maybe you weren’t so crazy and maybe there is something here that she wants but think she can’t have and that, that something is you?”

“Well, now, that’s just stupid. If anything I should be the one thinking I can’t have her. I mean…she’s Cat Grant. Why would she even think that I couldn’t possibly want to be with her?”

“I don’t know, Kara, you know her better than me so you tell me.”

Kara paused to think it over and it finally clicked. It was so easy to only see how successful Cat was, how much power she had, how great her life must be, and how ridiculous it would be for Cat to be insecure. But Kara should have realized sooner. She knew better than that. She’d refilled Cat’s prescription, she’d witnessed how hurt and vulnerable - how flawed – Cat had felt with Adam, and  she’d seen first-hand how vicious Cat’s mother could be. Suddenly, it didn’t seem so far-fetched that Cat would think Kara could do better.

“I have to go,” she said as she got up from the couch. “I don’t even know what time she’s supposed to be leaving. Or where she’s going. What if she already left ? I can’t stop a plane. Well, yes, I can, but I’m also 80% sure it would be frowned upon. Alex, what do I do ?”

“Try the airport first,” Alex suggested. “Then her place.”

“Righ. Airport first. Place second. Got it.”

“Just try to be - ” Alex started but Kara was already out the window and it was only thanks to her superhearing that Kara was able to hear the end of Alex’s sentence – “discreet.”

Kara was flying fast. She didn’t know yet what she was going to tell Cat but she knew she didn’t want Cat to leave with things like this between them. It felt really cliché, running – or rather flying – to the airport to make a grad declaration or something. Cat herself would probably hate it but Kara was past caring. Cat had told her to dive and she thought she had whether it was as Kara or as Supergirl – instead she’d ended up stuck with Mon-El. What she was about to do – this was diving. Kara needed to know where they stood or the uncertainty would eat at her. She only hoped it wouldn’t blow up in her face.

She did try to follow Alex’s advice and not be noticed as she arrived at the airport but maybe she should have thought this through. There weren’t as many tall buildings or bushes here than in downtown where she could hide her landing and she couldn’t exactly just float there while she scanned the airport to find Cat (even flying superhero had parking problems – just of another sort).

She’d just found a good spot when her phone rang. Annoyed, she picked it up.

“Alex you know I’m kind of on a clock,” she said.

“Yeah, about that, I know where Cat is.”

“You do ? Did you abuse of your law enforcement power to access passengers lists ?” she asked before adding. “Wait, I’ll care about that later. Where is she?”

“That’s the thing, she’s not at the airport. Nor at her place.”

“How can you even know that?”

“Because she showed up at your door 30 seconds after you left and is now waiting in your living room.”

_Oh boy._

“She’s at my apartment? Are you sure?”

“Kara, get your ass over right now before she changes her mind and leaves!” Alex said. “I’m expecting you in less than a minute.”

With that, Alex hung up, leaving Kara slightly stunned, still hovering high above ground. Cat was at her apartment, waiting for her. It all sounded too surreal to be true and a million thoughts were running through her head.

She flew back to her apartment just as fast as she’d left it, only stopping herself from flying through the window at the last second.  Although, no matter what Alex had told Cat about Kara’s whereabouts, it would still seem like Kara had been awfully. Kara knew Cat would definitely notice.

Instead, she landed carefully on the roof and if she had to use a bit of superstrenght to get the door leading inside to open, well, she just hoped no one would notice the broken door until she could get someone to fix it. She quickly made her way downstairs and to her own apartment.

She took a deep breath before opening the door as quietly as possible. It was apparently not enough because both Alex and Cat were looking in her direction when she walked in. Both were standing by her kitchen table but the most disconcerting was the amused look on Cat’s face and the horrified one on Alex’s, who was quick to excuse herself.

“Alright, and it’s time for me to leave,” she said. She gave Cat a curt nod and headed for the door, passing Kara on her way, and whispering to her, “Talk to you later, Kara. Oh,  and hm,  you might want to change.”

With that she was out the door. Kara stared after her, a little puzzled, and before she could register Alex’s parting words, Cat spoke up.

“Interesting choice of wardrobe,” she said. “I didn’t realize you were still a student living on the university campus.”

It was only then that Kara looked down at herself. Well, she thought, there was no way this could possibly get any worse.  In her haste to leave her apartment not even 10 minutes ago, she’d foregone changing into her supersuit, or changing into clothes at all, which left her standing in her living room in her pajamas and slippers, having obviously just come from outside.

“I’m…going to go change,” she said. “I’ll just be a minute.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will.”

Kara bit back a smile at Cat’s teasing. After all, if she was teasing Kara, then things had to be somewhat normal between them. Using human speed, Kara changed into some real clothes and went back to the living room.

“Sorry about that, I was…” she trailed off a little, trying to find a plausible excuse. “Never mind, it’s not important now.”

They both stood there awkwardly for a minute, neither knowing what to say. Kara had wanted to say a lot of things but now that it was Cat who had shown up at her apartment, she didn’t want to risk saying the wrong thing and making Cat leave before she’d told her why she was there in the first place.

“You were right, I probably should have told you sooner,” Cat finally said. “I’m sorry.”

Those were rare words from Cat Grant and Kara knew she meant them.

“I’m sorry too,” Kara admitted. She chose what to say next very carefully. “The truth is I overreacted because I didn’t want you to leave again.”

“You’ll be fine without me, Kara.”.

“You’re doing it again,” Kara sighed.

“Doing what exactly, Kara ? It’s not a lie.”

“Maybe not. Maybe you’re right and I’d be fine without you – although I think we’ve established the last few months show the contrary. But I don’t want you to leave thinking I don’t need you. I meant what I said when I told you I couldn’t imagine being here without you.” Kara took a few steps forward to stand directly in front of Cat. “And for the record, I respect you too much to ask you to stay. But god, Cat, I really want you to stay and it has nothing to do with work or any responsibilities you might have helped me with in the past.”

Cat’s lips parted slightly with a sharp intake of breath, drawing Kara to gaze down.

“What are you saying, Kara?”

With her eyes still on Cat’s lips, she said, “I’m saying…if you need to dive away for professional reasons, I’m not going to try and stop you from that but if part of you wants to leave because you think you can’t have me then I’m saying you’re wrong.”

Finally, Kara let her eyes find Cat’s again. Her pounding heart resonating in her ears, she tried to convey to Cat that she was absolutely serious about this and that there was only one meaning to what she was implying.

She hadn’t expected Cat to answer right away – she needed to let the words sink in – but when 10 seconds of silence turned into 20 into 30 and then a full minute, Kara was starting to really consider she’d just dove and crashed. This was the last time she took advice on her romantic life from Alex ever again. Or Winn. Or James. Who had time for a romantic life anyway? She had articles to write and villains to stop.

Kara cleared her throat before speaking again, “But if I was being presumptuous, we can forget we ever had this conversation.”

When she tried to take a step back, however, Cat stopped her by grabbing her hand.

“I’m not very good at this,” Cat said.

“Oh, hum, well I’m pretty sure this the part where you either kiss me or let me down gently,” Kara answered, making Cat roll her eyes.  “Sorry was that too cliché for you?”

“A little. I have a reputation to keep after all. I can’t have people thinking I’m mellowing.”

“Oh, I don’t think anyone will dare think that, Cat.” Kara cracked a smile which Cat returned with an amused shake of her head. “So which is it? Because you know if you’re going to let me down I need to tell Alex to buy more don –“

She was cut off by Cat pulling her down by the front of her shirt and the soft press of lips against her own. She smiled into the kiss, but Cat wiped it right off by pulling her closer and gently biting her lower lip.

“I’m still not going back to Catco yet,” Cat said when they finally parted.

“It’s okay,” Kara said with a grin. “Wherever you go, I know a pretty cheap airline.”


End file.
